Listening Well in a Deaf World
This weekend I was part of a conversation. The context isn't as important as what I find myself reflecting on today. I sat around a table with a diverse group of individuals and each one brought their own ideals, beliefs, understanding, context, and agendas. It was significant that while they each had something to say, they were also there to listen.
I noticed that as the conversation warmed up we all played our preferred roles. Some took a hard, passionate stance. Others were open to hearing new ideas and seemed to move with the flow of the conversation. Some presented their ideas as a teacher or expert might, hoping to push the conversation into new planes and spur others to think of new ideas. Some were passionate, some quiet, some were abrasive and direct, some were cautious not to state their ideas in ways that harmed others. There were those that listened well and those that heard what they only wanted to hear.
Part way through this conversation I found myself stepping into the role of mediator. I had not intended to step into this role as I was truly there to listen, but I watched two people that couldn't seem to hear one another. Interestingly, they would have been allies if only they could find a way to listen for understanding. I found myself reframing their points and tossing them back to help these two individuals see that they weren't opposed, but simply speaking through different lenses, focusing on different rungs of a ladder, but very much standing on the same ladder.
There are many reasons that we do this and as I navigate the world each day I notice that this is happening all around me. We are not as divided as we think we are, but we are not open to listening well, allowing others to finish their thought, considering their perspective, and working to find common ground. I think of all the things I see that need to change and realize that we have a lot of work to do. Positive change will only result from positive conversation that leads to positive actions. Sitting with those that differ from you, listening, cooperating, and valuing their context is the only way forward.
Some will say that negative response is sometimes justified to promote positive change. Perhaps that is true once we have moved so far from one another that we can no longer find common ground, but negative responses will always have negative consequences even if there is some positive ground gained. Most of the negative we have seen in our history could have been prevented if only humanity had sat around a table and listened to the "other".
History is full of heroes that used weapons to change the world or rid it of evil. I am more interested in those heroes that used their words to prevent evil from ever taking hold. Those are harder to find and often not celebrated in the same way. There are solutions to the challenges that face us. I fear we are afraid to listen because it is hard and uncomfortable. It seems we prefer to use words to harm instead of bring healing. We have weaponized our beliefs and use them to overthrow those that don't think as we do. We can do better. We must do better.
If you ever want to talk.
I will listen.
peace
I noticed that as the conversation warmed up we all played our preferred roles. Some took a hard, passionate stance. Others were open to hearing new ideas and seemed to move with the flow of the conversation. Some presented their ideas as a teacher or expert might, hoping to push the conversation into new planes and spur others to think of new ideas. Some were passionate, some quiet, some were abrasive and direct, some were cautious not to state their ideas in ways that harmed others. There were those that listened well and those that heard what they only wanted to hear.
Part way through this conversation I found myself stepping into the role of mediator. I had not intended to step into this role as I was truly there to listen, but I watched two people that couldn't seem to hear one another. Interestingly, they would have been allies if only they could find a way to listen for understanding. I found myself reframing their points and tossing them back to help these two individuals see that they weren't opposed, but simply speaking through different lenses, focusing on different rungs of a ladder, but very much standing on the same ladder.
There are many reasons that we do this and as I navigate the world each day I notice that this is happening all around me. We are not as divided as we think we are, but we are not open to listening well, allowing others to finish their thought, considering their perspective, and working to find common ground. I think of all the things I see that need to change and realize that we have a lot of work to do. Positive change will only result from positive conversation that leads to positive actions. Sitting with those that differ from you, listening, cooperating, and valuing their context is the only way forward.
Some will say that negative response is sometimes justified to promote positive change. Perhaps that is true once we have moved so far from one another that we can no longer find common ground, but negative responses will always have negative consequences even if there is some positive ground gained. Most of the negative we have seen in our history could have been prevented if only humanity had sat around a table and listened to the "other".
History is full of heroes that used weapons to change the world or rid it of evil. I am more interested in those heroes that used their words to prevent evil from ever taking hold. Those are harder to find and often not celebrated in the same way. There are solutions to the challenges that face us. I fear we are afraid to listen because it is hard and uncomfortable. It seems we prefer to use words to harm instead of bring healing. We have weaponized our beliefs and use them to overthrow those that don't think as we do. We can do better. We must do better.
If you ever want to talk.
I will listen.
peace
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